Goodbye party

Goodbyes are never easy, and Costa Rican goodbyes are no exception. All of our host families worked together to create a fun night. It was amazing to see the difference in all of us from the first day of orientation. We were all scared, nervous, and excited to meet our families, but on this night we were all sitting and visiting with them, feeling like family. They all do such an amazing job with welcoming us into their lives and families. We had lots of Costa Rican food, music, dancing, and sharing of many memories.

Annaí, papá Yue, me, mamá Iva, and Aldo

I can never forget this family and all the ways that they have sacrificed and loved me so well.

Dancing polka with my little sister.

Did I say it was a Costa Rican party? I am not sure the significance of the wigs, sometimes I think they like to make things up to make us look funny and laugh, but it makes for a fun time and sweet memories. <3 <3 <3

I will never forget how Annaí fell asleep in my arms at the party, and that timid little Aldo danced with me and let me hold him. Gracias familia Tica por todo su amor y cuidado, ya la extraño terriblemente.

I know who you are

Speaking and expressing yourself in another language is hard, and takes a lot of time and practice. It means being willing to mess up, laugh at yourself, analyze yourself, and listen while other people speak. I was talking to my friend Emily the other day and we were talking about our joys and struggles over the past two months. We were talking about the difficulty of expressing ourselves in Spanish and how that has changed over the past two months. It is true that it is very hard to express yourself in another language, and sometimes I think spending time in a Spanish speaking culture before being able to speak Spanish has hindered me in some ways. When there is someone around me that I can depend I am more likely to let them do the speaking, or when there are others around me that speak Spanish better than more likely not to speak. I realize when speaking Spanish I say fewer words to express things, because #1 it is harder, and #2 I don't know all the words, phrases, and sayings that I do in English. Though I have become very close with my host family over the past two months, I feel that the actual Brianna has not been showing until the last couple weeks as my speaking, comprehension, and confidence has grown.

Another student and I were talking about being assertive, and I stated that I struggle with being assertive in Spanish, because it is something that I learned to do in English, and now I feel like a toddler again, learning to speak all over again, and it takes baby steps.

It always makes me laugh when I think of the tias in Ecuador and how they thought I was a quiet timid person and that Natasha my companion was the loud talkative person. We laughed together because we knew this description of us was not accurate, since coming here I have felt myself falling into this category more than once of being quiet and timid. Then when I start feeling comfortable in a situation I feel myself beginning to show, but then there are always the different accents that I am not sure I will understand, or if there will be a lot of background noise that makes it difficult to understand, or will I feel rushed which makes it harder for words to form, and other doubts and real life circumstances that happen to make comprehension and speaking in a second language difficult.

Being in a country that is foreign to you in language and culture is a huge challenge, and I think sometimes the only way to realize how much it changes you is to go back to "your normal" or "the known". I am excited and scared to go back home and realize once again how much I have changed and grown over the past couple of months. One thing that has been a comfort to me is knowing that Jesus Christ knows exactly who I am, He knows my thought, and the desires of my heart far better than I. I don't have to explain myself or have words to express. He is my greatest friend and lover of my soul.

Romans 8:31-35
And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Does Jesus Care?

When my sad heart aches...till it nearly breaks...does He care enough to be near?

The answer is Yes, Jesus does care, and He cares enough to be my comfort and strength in my sorrow. My heart is breaking and tearing, I have gone through this before, but that doesn't make it hurt less. Jesus love never ceases to amaze me, He hears my cries, and He knows what I need even when I do not. 

My last week with my family and in the program have been filled with small special moments, like chatting with papá Kokí and mamá Wanita, or spending time with Anahí and Yariela playing or making cards. Lingering a little longer at the supper table with my family and taking a little more time with every Spanish conversation I have. 

This morning I realized it was almost my last morning to have pinto for breakfast, even when I heard my host dad emptying my bathroom garbage this morning I thought, this is the last time I will hear this. Its weird how two months can quickly develop into routine, normal, and the expected.

Today was our last day of school and we had a two-hour long test, then we had to wait two and a half hours while our professor graded, and worked through technology to print off a sheet of paper with our grades so we could sign them and leave. It was a good reminder that we are in Costa Rica, to be patient, and it helped make leaving school a joyous event. 

This afternoon I did a mock interview with my host-dads sister. She has been taking classes for the last five months and has an interview in English tomorrow. It was fun to do this and see the English - Spanish dynamics going on. Times she would explain something to me in Spanish and I would help her choose the best English words to express it and other times I would explain something to her in English. Then my dad would pop in and correct her or speak in English or Spanish and it was just amazing to me that I could take part of this. It just seemed fitting to spend my last day in Costa Rica like this.

Tonight is the going away party for all the families and students. I am hoping that I cried all of my tears yesterday so they won't come out tonight....

Heart full

So much has happened, but its all these moments that my heart clings too. They are nothing extraordinary, but very special.

Thursday I went to San Jose with my abuelo and he showed me where to find a bus stop and then we went to the pharmacy which is in an old imperial (the beer of Costa Rica) plant, that was converted when the hospital needed more space. It was pretty cool, and I never would have guessed they used to ship beer out of there. Then we walked around the city and into a couple churches, and he helped me get a few gifts that I wanted to buy yet. I never get tired of exploring the crowed streets of San Jose with venders and sellers everywhere. My host-grandpa is 20 years younger than my actual grandpa, so it is a different experience to have a grandpa with so much energy and physical capabilities.

Friday Maria and I went to San Jose to volunteer at fundación Grítalo. Our professor gave us the wrong directions and told us it was in a slightly more dangerous part of town, so after riding around in a taxi for nearly an hour we got out, paid our fare and went to McDonald's to get some WiFi. Thankfully our taxi driver was very friendly and did not charge us the full amount because he knew we were going to volunteer. After a shady experience in the sketchy McDonald's we decided to walk to the place, which was in the complete opposite direction as our professor told us. We accidentally walked down the most dangerous street in San Jose, but we made it by the grace of God to fundación Grítalo. I was thrilled to discover it is a Christian ministry and we spend the afternoon serving food, cleaning, and entertaining children from the street. It was by far my best day here, and it was so hard to leave. The place ended up being not even two blocks from the bus stop that we got off at that morning.... I must make a disclaimer though, it was completely our idea to go, and we knew the risk involved, it was in no way encouraged by our program or program staff.

Saturday was my host-sisters 6th birthday and true to Costa Rican culture, it was huge! I spent the morning making chocolate covered marshmallow centerpieces, and helping load up the vehicles with food. We arrived at the trampoline park at 1:30, the party started at 2 pm, and we didn't finish setting up until at least 2:30, but that is what it is like here. Some of the guests didn't come until after 3 pm anyway. We passed our chips, drinks, and snacks to the parents while the children went off to jump. Then we prepared coffee and passed our pastries to all the adults to eat while the children played. We assembles hot dog plates and passed those out to the children when they returned, then we sang happy birthday, broke the pinata, and passed out gift bags to the 26 children that were present. Finally we passed out all of the seven types of desserts, drinks, and everyone took photos with the birthday girl. What a party, unfortunately I have no photos because my phone got submerged in water from my water bottle just before the party. I am thankful I had the opportunity to help out and be part of this special day. When we were leaving the party and walking with all of the family, Anahí came and held my hand as we walked to the car, and I am not sure that anyone else noticed, but my heart sure did. She has become very special to me in such a short amount of time.

Saturday evening we went to explore Heredia by night with a local friend and it was neat to be able to walk the streets after dark with no fear. We also went dancing a bit, which I will also greatly miss the Latin American dances. Nearly every single one of the people in this country actually know how to dance! They also enjoy laughing at the polka, which they told me, "we do not do that here."

Today I went for a long walk with my abuelo through the countryside and city. It was a crazy walk up hill and down hill and all around. We walked a huge loop and it took us nearly two hours. A neighbor of theirs just stopped when they saw us about a mile from home and took us home. The friendliness and randomness of this culture never ceases to amaze me.

My host-parents taught me how to make Choriatas, which is tortillas made from fresh corn, salt, and milk. They are amazing and I am looking forward to making them when I get back! I spent the afternoon with my sister, cousin, parents, and grandparents. When everyone lives so close, you just spend time in everyone's houses and eating at everyone's table. It just feels so right to be so surrounded by this culture, but its also hard because I have less than a week left here with them. I also taught my sister and cousin how to polka, and they loved it so at least I am not alone now. It was also a way to pay them back for all the help they give me with my Spanish.

As the days are growing fewer, my heart is growing fuller, but so is the excited, but sadness of leaving. This is going to be harder than I thought, and my sister told me this evening, "I don't want you to leave." If I am being honest I don't either, but my heart is torn.

Coronado

I have not posted for a while, but our Wednesday culture day turned out much different than expected....

We went to the Olympic building and an editorial building, but were not able to enter either because our professor did not actually set up appointments. So we ended up just walking around, exploring, and talking. It was a beautiful day until the afternoon, when it started pouring on us. Maria forgot her umbrella on the bus that morning so she had to run across the street without and she was completely soaked, I ran with an umbrella and got half soaked.

My class with our professor

I took a picture on the lawn inside the Olympic symbol even though we couldn't get a tour.

Trying to hide from the rain under the gazebo, but it wasn't working, it was coming down in sheets from every direction. We got home a little early that evening and I rested and hung out with my family for the evening.

When you realize your leaving....

I have known since before I came to Costa Rica that I would be leaving. I have known since I came that I would be leaving. I have carefully watched my days and hours while here, knowing they were going quickly. But yesterday it hit me in a strange new way... I am not only leaving, but I am leaving slightly different, and leaving so much behind.

Two weeks into this journey I realized I had eaten rice and beans for breakfast nearly every day, and was a little concerned that I would get tired of them, but yesterday morning my grandma served with Pinto de Gallo with red beans instead of black and I realized that I have eaten black beans and rice nearly every day for six weeks and still look forward to them. I realized that I am leaving behind a morning routine.

When I first arrived I did not like papaya and thought "I think it is something you have to have grown up with to enjoy," but yesterday when I was eating it with my rice and beans I realized that for the first time I was actually enjoying the flavor of it.

Costa Rican cheese is nothing like Wisconsin cheese, but during breakfast I helped myself to a piece and realized that it satisfied my craving for cheese.

My taste buds have changed over the past six weeks and it makes me sad to think of leaving all of this behind. There are flavors and things that I miss from the states, but things there will also not be like they are here. What do you do when you realize you are going to be leaving a very real part of you behind in a short period.

My host mom was gone all last week for work related things, then I left on Friday for Manuel Antonio, and returned on Sunday, and my family left on Sunday and returned on Tuesday from a short vacation. So yesterday evening when I got home from a very busy day, I was so excited to see my family! We hugged and kissed and talked about everything that's happened and shared pictures and stories and I realized how much this house and family have come to feel like a home to me.

I have had hard moments and felt homesick, but I am going to leave this place that I love too. We have less than two weeks left of school, and I have started looking at my work scedule for returning home, so I know its happening. It feels both good and scary to be making plans for after I return home. I know what its like to live in the United States and be surrounded by English, and I know what its like to return from a Latin American County from being surrounded by Spanish, but that does not help, because now I am leaving a piece of my heart in one more place, and I have grown to love both Latin America and Spanish a little more.

This morning over breakfast I had the time is growing small talk with my host-sister, and she rushed to verify the truth of it with my host-mom. She did not seem to excited by the thought of Wisconsin this morning, but it is a thought that both excites me and makes me sad. This morning as I am gathering courage and comfort from my Savior through praise music, I am reminded of my hope in Him. He has a plan for my life, even if I do not know what it is, or where it will take me.

But God, when You choose

To leave mountains unmovable

Give me the strength to be able to sing

It is well with my soul

It's easy to sing

When there's nothing to bring me down

But what will I say

When I'm held to the flame

Like I am right now

I know You're able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You'd just say the word

But even if You don't

My hope is You alone

Manuel Antonio

This weekend we did a two-person trip to the coast and it was beautiful and relaxing. We had to rush to the bus stop after school in the rain, but we made it in time! We got in line and handed over the tickets that we had bought the day before and the man said, its the wrong date... we looked at the ticket and sure enough, it was for the day before. The gentlemen was so kind and because he had the copy of our tickets he knew that we had not used them so they allowed us to trade them, but stated that we would have to wait an hour for the next bus. However, the bus driver came, grabbed our tickets and said, get on, I have two seats left. :) So pretty soggy and just in time we were on the right bus. By the time we arrived in Manual Antonio it was after six and dark. We checked into our hostel and surprise, they put us in a private room, even though we only paid for a dorm, and some kind guests offered us the rest of their pasta as they had a lot left over. So with an upgrade and free supper, we set off to find a grocery store, a bank, 

and some gifts. Manuel Antonio is known for its wildlife and monkeys and we were not disappointed! We were able to watch monkey and sloths both inside the park and around town. We watched this group of monkeys cross the road on the power line. Even a momma monkey crossed with her little one. They were so fast and so entertaining!

This is a local fruit called Rambutan. They are sweet to eat and a lot of fun. We feel kinda local walking around carrying a bag of there because not many tourists know how to eat them. I just bite into it to split the skin and the fruit comes out, then you just eat the fruit off of the pit and you have eaten a Rambutan.

 Yes, these actually are sloths sleeping on the power line. Sloths come down from the trees once a week to go to the bathroom, but they also sleep 20 out of 24 hours in the day, so it is rare to see them awake, and rarer still to see them down low. We did see these guys hanging low in the tree earlier in the day, and then, later on, found them sleeping on the electric lines, and I doubt this was their first time. They are pretty fascinating creatures.
We headed to the national park early on Saturday morning and were able to hike back to a waterfall and hike a small peninsula. Both were pretty neat and since we were on the coast we were also soaked and dripping with sweat. It was strange because walking through the rain forest I did not feel hot, but was very thirsty, and sweaty.



When we got to the beach we met the monkeys. They were all over the place and stealing food and people's bags. One grabbed a bag of chips and ran up a tree. A few minutes later he sent down the empty bag. We rescued a little boys bag from being stolen. After being entertained for awhile we kept hiking and came upon more of the little rascals. While we were crossing the bridge two of them kept trying to get into my backpack, when I turned around to look at them, they would scowl. They have no fear of anything!

I also got to play with a few and hold their hands so that was pretty sweet. They would hold my hand and open their mouth, so I didn't leave my hand                                                      in theirs for long, for fear of what might happen. 

Here is the waterfall

I did not know that there are crabs that live on the jungle floor, but now I do, and you do too! :)

I love gekos and other lizards, but they are really hard to get photos of, but Saturday was my lucky day, because we seen a lot of them, and I finally got some photos.

Looks sweet enough to kiss...

This is the life!

We ended our day with supper on a balcony overlooking the ocean with seafood soup. It was delicious, and surprise, surprise, it had a whole crab in it. He was pretty small though, so not much meat.

Sometimes I wonder if I am really here or if this is a dream, but the sweat beading down my forehead makes me want to believe it's real.