this faith thing....

I can be one of those easy going, spontaneous and go with it kinda people but some things really bring it out in me...and I usually don't even realize when its happening!

I have this problem.....

I don't like to put my foot in the water unless I know whats underneath....

I don't like to start something unless I know exactly how it will get finished....

I don't like to go somewhere unless I know how long I will be gone....

I don't like to get into the vehicle unless I know where it is going...

I need to know who, what, when, where, and why....

I guess I can describe it in a lot of different ways, but quite honestly its a lack of trust in God.

I find myself struggling with this a lot lately and you would think that after all the mountains I have seen God move, the miracles I have seen happen, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is completely and totally dependable, He has got this thing, He has got me, and I know He is going to take care of it!

Sure there is still some pretty big mountains to climb...but look at the ones behind me.....

So why do I try so hard to make sure things are going smoothly and worry when I don't have control? Why do I doubt? Why do I have to get my feathers ruffled? Honestly, why do I waste my time?

I have to say God has given me more faith in the past year than I have ever had before, but my life in the past year has required more faith than ever and that road is not over yet! Quite honestly I hope it is never over, I never want to stop needing and trusting God more and more. When I start to think I'm in over my head and start praying, God I just can't do this anymore! Its as if He asks me, Do you want the easy way out? NO! Honestly I don't! I want to do this! I want to be stretched and grown and changed! Hallelujah, from Glory to Glory, He's changing me, His likeness and image to perfect in me! I'm the love of God shown to the world.

No, God, don't stop, don't give me the easy way out! I want the hard way, the way that requires more faith, the scary way, the way where I don't know how it ends, the way where I don't know how its going to happen, and the way that I have to choose daily to trust You! The way that requires more tears, more love and more surrender! The way that when I look back, all I can see is what you have done! The way where I have to continually stop and say, All Glory to God! Look what He has done! He is my God! My Saviour! and my Loving Heavenly Father!

God right now, I trust you, I chose to trust you, because I know who You are! I know what you have done! And I know I have no reason to doubt or fear.

Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7

God is faithful, by whom ye were called into the fellowship of His son Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:9

The will of God will not take me where the grace of God cannot keep me.

But let all those that put their trust in Thee rejoice, let them ever shout for joy because Thou defendest them, let them also that love thy name be joyful in Thee. For Thou Lord wilt bless the righteous; with favor wilt Thou comfort them as with a shield. Psalms 5:11 & 12

Everything that I think may go over my head, is already under His feet! :)

For verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall be removed; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Matthew 17:20

Someday when I see Jesus face to face I don't want Him to show me my life as it could have been as a faithful, trusting, surrendered servant, I want to bow at His feet and hear, "Well done". So I will keep going, because I'm so thankful He chose me to walk this path, and I know He has a lot more in store!

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Ephesians 3:5 & 6

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2