Missing Ecuador

"O look, here is miss Ecuador!", said, one.  "She doesn't look like she's Ecuadorian to me", replied another.

Whoever would have thought that two comments could bring back so many memories?? Its already been 3 months since I returned from Ecuador, but I'm still adjusting and I still miss it like crazy!

I drove over a hill and see a "Wisconsin mountain" looming in the distance and thought, O its almost like Ecuador....then I thought, ok, not even close!

I went to the IRS office and was sadly disappointed by the one, half asleep guard behind the desk...really? There would be at least 4 starched and attentive security guards walking the place in Ecuador....

I was driving my moms van with my siblings and I accidently hit the horn with my elbow as I back out of the farmers market...my siblings groan in embarrassment as everyone was staring at us....I simply laugh...believe me, I learned to get over my public embarrassment factor in Ecuador!

I still miss the laid back slower pace of life, the adventure of walking down to the corner store to buy water, the delicious empanadas and so much more! Most of all I miss the children, spending my days with them and the tias, and of course, I miss Senorita Natasha. Most days I feel like a heart divided...half here and half there.

I know that God has me here for a purpose, and a season, and He has given me ministry opportunities right where I am, but it just doesn't feel as important...perhaps because when I was there, I knew exactly what I was there to do and how long I was suppose to be there. But the truth is, I could not have a more important calling then the one God gives me every morning when I wake up with a heart ready to serve Him. So I'm thankful that I'm here today, but the truth is I miss Ecuador very much, it somehow became such a part of me in three short months...

There is a sense of constant searching in my heart for things of value... Why is it that so many of us American Christians settle for less?  Less than a complete surrender of everything to Jesus Christ? Less than living each day for the Kingdom of God? Less than seeing God's perfect will done in our lives and those around us because we want things to go according to our plans?

Why do so many American's have to be so shallow? The truth is...most American's don't know any better. So many have never seen, have never walked, and have never opened their eyes, because we simply don't have to, or want too.

God is teaching me grace and mercy.....to look into my own heart and see my own shortcoming, my own sinful habits and my own selfishness. To not just judge my heart by its intentions but by my actions. This is a daily struggle, a daily walk, I know the answer is not to pack up and go back to Ecuador! I want to walk through this and be made stronger and more beautiful in the sight of God. Everyone keeps telling me that everything I'm going through and struggling with is preparing me for what God has for me in the future....I usually laugh..not because I don't believe it, but because I get this feeling....its going to be great!

Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God. But I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel; So that my bonds in Christ are manifest in all palace, and in all other places; Philippians 1:11-13

Yes, God, I want that to be me! I am willing....