In God's Underground

I recently finished reading "In God's Underground", by Richard Wurmbrand. I really enjoy reading and I enjoy the challenge and blessing of reading biographies and books about my brothers and sisters in Christ.

As I was reading this book, my heart broke time and time again, as I kept expecting Christ to free this man from his imprisonment, because God is a loving God right? He doesn't want His children to be in prison does He? He doesn't want His children to suffer does He? In one moment God could free him! In one moment God could make everything right (at least in my eyes). Why does He not?

But Richard had a better attitude about his suffering then I did. He was willing to serve God where God placed him and through his suffering and obedience God saved hundreds of souls right there in those communist prisons. What better life could there be? What more joy could you have? His family stayed true and faithfully, following God through prison, losing everything they had, and being shamed.

Perhaps the reason it bothers me is the fact that I wonder could I hold up? Under this torturing? Could I endure? I"ll be honest, I enjoy my comforts! Could I hold up under the severest persecution without denying my Lord? I want to say Yes! But how can I? I cringe just reading the pages, would I be one that deserted my Lord? That blasphemed and cursed Him? Would I be true, and follow Him through the worst of persecution with a doctor standing by just to make sure you don't die. Your body malnourished, your mind on the verge of going insane from years of solitary confinement, your strength gone yet you are forced to go on lest they trample on you and beat you more, hold on through brainwashing and emotional abuse of the worst kind. Yet, love and pray for your guards, and all that do evil against you. Continue to tell fellow prisoners of Jesus Christ, when you look around you and it seems that Christ has forsaken....

But in it all there is such a beauty, how true is the faith of a christian who has held true in persecution, what a deepness they enjoy in Christ. They have partaken of His sufferings and they are honored and thankful that they are allowed the privileged of drinking from that cup. So once again I find myself jealous of this richness they have found and experienced in Christ, but I don't find myself asking God to allow me to partake of this suffering....I only find myself praying that if it comes to me, God please, let me stand true. Don't let me shame your name.

I believe, help Thou mine unbelief....